I saw you at the comedy studio last night and awkwardly told you after the show that you were hilarious which is dumb because of course you were hilarious. You're a PROFESSIONAL COMEDIAN. What I wish I could've said to you (and everyone else, too,) was that you inspired me, which is almost worse to write let alone walk up to you and say so I just left. Like an asshole. but you are NOT an asshole. You are a great comedian. There is no question here, just wanted you to know you have a fan in NYC.
WOOOWWWW!!!! You have no idea how much I appreciate your kind words. Most people forget our names after the shows, so for you to take the time to find me in the deep vastness that is the Internet makes you the second most awesome lady I can think of (the first being Brooklyn Decker — She’s a real champion). Thanks again. It really does mean a lot.
“Little tv sets going off inside my ears,
Spacemen floating by,
Chase the demons lightly,
News it hits your eyes,
Up and down the sidewalk,
Take a doo-doo pie,
I love you”—Tracy Morgan
“But in the main, I feel like a brown bag of miscellany propped against a wall. Against a wall in company with other bags, white, red and yellow. Pour out the contents, and there is discovered a jumble of small things priceless and worthless. A first-water diamond, an empty spool, bits of broken glass, lengths of string, a key to a door long since crumbled away, a rusty knife-blade, old shoes saved for a road that never was and never will be, a nail bent under the weight of things too heavy for any nail, a dried flower or two still a little fragrant. In your hand is the brown bag. On the ground before you is the jumble it held—so much like the jumble in the bags, could they be emptied, that all might be dumped in a single heap and the bags refilled without altering the content of any greatly. A bit of colored glass more or less would not matter. Perhaps that is how the Great Stuffer of Bags filled them in the first place—who knows?”—Zora Neale Hurston
Don’t get too comfortable adult rappers with chest hair and responsibilities, it looks like 2003 is going to be quite the year for Lil Bow Wow. The teen sensation scoots back on the scene with his new release “Unleashed” which promises to really urge the question, “How much is $14.99 anyway?”
After abandoning his previous record label, and his first name “Lil”, listeners are meeting a new, more rabie heavy Bow Wow. This isn’t your girlfriend’s little sister’s kitten’s hip hop anymore. With songs about picking girls up at the mall, and learning to drive, it’s like you can actually hear his testicles dropping mid-album. This guy has become plain dangerous. I mean, look at the album cover. It’s the epitome of cool. He is literally throwing up neutral gang signs in front of an explosion! It’s like he’s saying, “Hey explosion, you can’t wear those colors in my neighborhood.” And we’re all sitting back like, “What is he crazy?!” No, he’s no crazy, just unleashed.
Bow Wow’s lyrics have matured quite a bit since his last studio release. For instance, take his impressive use of consonance in the song “Get It Poppin’”.
"B Wizzle, Swizzle, is you crazy baby? I’m rain, them boys just drizzle."
Wooooaaahhhh!!!! Did this guy just compare himself to a moderate storm??? You damn right he did, and he meant every word.
Similarly, check out his ferocious shoutout to a children’s network in the song “I Can’t Lose”.
"You think it’s easy don’t ya? wanna be Weezy don’t ya? I’m a performer homie, you just take it easy won’t ya. From Nickelodeon, Source to BET, I’m approaching the podium folks is voting for me."
That’ll show them Bow Wow. No way they treat you like a rapper that can’t buy his own cigarettes now.
And for those of you that miss the more sensitive Bow Wow, don’t fret, he still has a number of classic tracks for you to color rainbows to. “Hey Little Momma” and “My Baby” are some of the most orgasmic songs on the album; especially for anyone who hasn’t learned how the female orgasm works.
From start to finish “Unleashed” proves to be every high school students favorite thing to get yelled at for playing too loud after 9pm. The new Bow Wow has truly been unleashed, and we’ve all found something else to be thankful for this year.
Hi, I'm a student at the university of michigan. I'm currently in the LHSP program and we are creating an arts and literary journal that showcases the best work of LHSP students from the past 50 years. We are overviewing about 6 poems by a Langston Kerman now, and I was wondering if this was you ?
Yeah, that’s definitely me. Feel free to use any of the poems I wrote during the program. That’s awesome.
MajorLookBoston’s own @MLBostonBeatz and violin/viola duo Charly & Margaux present: LACED, a free album. Like a fusion of hip hop and classical violin. Anyone who enjoys music should give this a listen, its well composed and well produced!
“How splendid it would be… if wisdom was the sort of thing that could flow from the fuller to the emptier of us when we touch each other, like water, which flows through a piece of wool from a fuller cup to an emptier one.”—Plato
Admittedly, “Shaq Diesel” is the first album I’ve ever listened to in Shaquille O’Neal’s extensive catalogue of work, which includes unforgettable classics like “Shaq-Fu: Da Return” and “Kazaam: The Soundtrack”, but after close listening, and a lot of drinking, I think it’s fair to say that this album has a great deal of potential.
First of all, Shaq uses multiple words on this album that he had never tried in real life. These words, although mostly fictional, and with little potential of being absorbed into the English language, show that Shaq is not an artist limited to a standardized vocabulary. He’s up for a challenge; slamming the SAT vocab list with a ferocity that could only be described as “Deisel.” Consider the jarring reference to his monstrous height in the song “I Know I Got Skillz.”
"I dribble rhymes like basketball-ems, People call me E.T.
(What’s that Shaq Man?)
Shaq’s unflinching addition of “-em” at the end of normal phrases that would easily rhyme without these adjustments, lets his listeners know that he’s a man with exquisite taste, and the reading level of an 8th grade foreign exchange student.
"Cuz I’m Muhammad like Ali,
I’m hot like Tamale,
I hang with Mr. Cooper, ask Ali”
Who says you can’t rhyme a word with the exact same word, no matter the context? Not Shaquille O’Neal, and not me.
Shaq keeps his rhymes slow and consistent. No need for that fancy variation in tone and cadence we’ve seen so many other rappers waste their time with. Shaq is a simple man. He picked a beat and he stuck with it. 11 tracks without even the slightest attempt to change his style. This album flows like 1993 constipation; it gets stuck in you. Check out this bit of fire he sharted in the song “Giggin’ On Em”. (Note his signature reuse of the EM)
"I never fake the funk on the dunks, neither my lyrics,
really real like SCUBA, so sucker come with it.”
No funk faking here Shaq; really real like SCUBA indeed.
I give Shaquille O’Neal’s debut album “Shaq Deisel” two throw-ups. Well done Deisel. Well done.